Friday, January 28, 2011

Why Are Black Men Causing A Division Between Black Women and Non-Black Women?

Ladies, I just want to let you know that I don't look at women of ANY race as a threat. I get along with women of all races. I don't hate women of other races because I wasn't brought up that way. With that being said, I just want to ask a question? WHY ARE BLACK MEN CAUSING A DIVISION BETWEEN BLACK WOMEN AND NON-BLACK WOMEN???? I notice that when a non-black woman dates or marries a black man, nine times out of ten, she hates black women. I understand that women in general hate on one another regardless of race, but I feel so hurt when a non-black woman who dates/marries black men hates on black women. They have this superiority complex, and they feel that because they are white, Asian, Latina, Indian, Arab, they have trump black women and they feel that they are above black women. To me, that's racist. The only non-black women that have this superiority complex are the ones who dated/married black men. The other day, someone send me a link of the hate mails of Anh Vu, and I was reading Anh Vu's responses to all the hate mail that was sent to her, and she assumed that the ones that gave her hate mails were black women, and the one thing that striked me the most is that when she said that the only time I want to be black is when it's inside of me, and then she also said that she wouldn't trade being Asian because black men love her yellow skin. This is when I got pissed off. I don't blame her for thinking like that because BLACK MEN boosted her ego up SOOO huge that she thinks that she's above black women. This is the same woman that said in one of her shows on YouTube that it has nothing to do with color. The way she responded, I beg to differ. I notice that she has TREMENDOUS hatred towards black women yet when you hear her talk, she sounds like a stereotypical black woman. I'm going to tell you the truth as of WHY she dislikes black women, and why she said what she said. The reason why Anh Vu did that is because BLACK MEN WHO DATED HER were saying negative things about black women and telling her that she's better than black women because of her hair texture and "yellow skin". Anh Vu didn't think like this overnight. All she dated were black men, so it makes sense for her to say what she said. This is a perfect example of how black men will cause a division between black women and non-black women. It seems like black men hate black women so much that he will turn the non-black woman that he dates/marries AGAINST black women. I've seen it done so many times. And because black men be boosting non-black women's ego up, non-black women, no matter how fat, ugly, mean, nasty, and slutty they are, feel that they trump black women or that they are better than black women. It's like black men who hate black women want EVERYBODY to hate black women to a T! This is SICK SICK SICK! They have TREMENDOUS self hate issues doing that. I'm going to give you another example. One of the YouTube members, BlackPowerStick, was telling a story of when he was dating a white woman, and he brought her to his home to meet his family, and while he was kicking it with his brothers and male cousins, his white girlfriend at the time, smacked his mother in the face while calling her a "black bitch", and said that "I'm better than you", and "that's why your men are going after us". And then she also attacked his sisters as well. When his mother told him what happened to them, he found it strange as in why she didn't attack his brothers and male cousins. He said that she's the type that loves black men but hates black women. When he found out what she did to his mother and sisters, he broke up with her telling her that it's over, and kicked her out of the house. He said that the reason why his ex-girlfriend did that is because the black men that she dated gas her up and boosted her ego by telling her that she's better than black women. I'm pretty sure that before she started dated black men that she didn't think like that. It's like black men want the whole world to go against black women or something. They want to make black women so undesirable that non-black men wouldn't want them, and I believe that's the whole plan of these type of black men bashing black women. THEY DON'T WANT NON-BLACK MEN TO DESIRE BLACK WOMEN!!! They want to keep black women in bondage the same way that racist white people used to keep black people in bondage. Black men have the same mentality as racist white men. Black men and racist non-black men have a lot in common. They both hate black people and black women. They both want the black race to be destroyed because of their insecurities. Let me remind you that all non-black women who dated/married black men are not like that. I always do a test to see if the BM/nonBW relationship is for real and for the right reasons. If I don't hear black men trash black women in front of their non-black spouses, then he did it for the right reasons. If a non-black woman who dates black men has black girlfriends and not thinking that she's better than black women, then it's for the right reasons. If black men who dates/marries interracially values black women AND non-black women, then it's for the right reasons. If a non-black woman or black man thinks that black women are beautiful, then it's for the right reasons. I always test their relationship to see if it's legit. I don't mind seeing black men with non-black women just as long as he still values black women, treats black women with respect, and doesn't bash us to the oblivion. Fortunately for me, I've met black men who have non-black girlfriends who NEVER EVER trash black women. They still value black women and so do their non-black girlfriends. Most the BM/non-BW that I've met are done by the right reasons, but unfortunately, the majority of BM/non-BW relationships are done by the wrong reasons. I'm going to give you ladies a list of tests to see if the BM/non-BW relationships are for the right reasons or if it's for the wrong reasons. I'm doing this because not all BM/non-BW relationships are the same.


Black men truly loves his non-black girlfriend/wife

Black men with non-black spouses NEVER trash, bash, throw black women under the bus in front of their non-black spouses

Non-black women with black spouses never think that she's above black women, and she values black women for who they are, and they have a lot of black girlfriends BEFORE and AFTER they dated/married black men

Black men with non-black spouses respects and values his black mother, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, and female cousins

Black men believe that black women AND non-black women are beautiful and valued for their unique beauty, and they are not colorstruck. He dates all kinds of women without excluding black women out of his dating pool.

Black men don't place non-black women over black women. Even if he dates a non-black woman, he still will date black women.


He hates black women in general including his mother, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, and female cousins. He doesn't respect them at all simply because they're black. This is a self-hating issue.

He wants to have lighter-skinned children with so-called "good hair" and keen facial features because when he was younger, he probably was teased for being too dark or called him nappy-headed, big-lipped, wide-nosed monkey, so in order for that situation to not repeat itself, he rejects ALL black women and dates and marries non-black women EXCLUSIVELY so he can produce a biracial child, so when that biracial child gets older, he or she can easily blend it with the white society. Self -hatred at its finest!

He stereotypes black women as being loud, fat, ugly, bad attitudes, and what have you, and he believes that the grass is greener on the other side when in reality, not all black women are the same.

A non-black woman with a black man thinks that she's above black women because of hair texture, facial features, and skin tone, and she doesn't have any black female friends, and she hates his mother, sister, and female relatives.

A black man dates EXCLUSIVELY non-black women and excluded ALL of the black women (light and dark) out of his dating pool no matter how good-hearted and attractive she is.

Black men think that women of their own race are ugly and hideous because of their brown skin, full lips, wide nose, and Afro-textured hair, and they think that non-black women are attractive simply because of their naturally straight hair, thin lips, small nose, and white/light skin.

These are the right reasons and the wrong reasons why black men date/marry out. That's all that I have to post here for today. I hope that you get the message.

Here's the source of Anh Vu's responses to hate mail:


  1. Andrew’s comments are interesting but in no way surprising. He’s trying to obfuscate and redirect the conversation and make this about BW. But it’s not about BW, it’s about BM. What do BW with children who may or may not like thugs have to do with ANYTHING that was said in this post? The same song and dance is getting real tired.

  2. Do NOT listen to this guy, m.l.q, above, or engage him in any way. He obsessively follows blogs written by and for Black women who date interracially. You will not get anywhere with him. Also, he harbors a seething hatred towards white people, most particularly white men. This goes some way towards explaining his obsession.
    Everything he writes belies his hatred, which he tries to clothe with the appearance of civility and eloquence. DO NOT be deceived. He is no doubt a Black supremacist, and probably ascribes to some kind of pseudoscience like "melanin theory" or the like.
    Your blog is great, but remember you will attract these white-hating Black men on occasion.
    He's nowhere as slick as the serpent, the Devil, but he sure thinks he is.

  3. Don't worry, everybody. I already deleted his comment, and I hope that he doesn't come back here anymore starting his bullshit because I don't have time for it.

  4. I totally agree with your post. I would go even further by saying that a lot of black men divide BW/non-BW even when he is not dating a non-BW! One example of this is the almight "Interracial" card that black men always whip out when confronting a BW and by this I mean that they threaten to "jump the fence" so to speak if black women don't start to "act right." Like in Kanye's song, "He'll leave your *** for a white girl." I even had a cousin whose boyfriend would always threaten her by saying that she was "putting him off black girls forever" every time they had an argument. It's natural to have arguments in a relationship but this weird remark shows his true damage! BM really want us to be seething at the thought of them dating non-BW when there are sectors of BW like me who could give a flying fig who they date.

    The one thing I don't agree with, though, is that BM excluding BW from his dating pool does not make his interracial relationship legit. I personally have NEVER dated a black man and probably never will but I still do not put them down in front of non-BM. As long as he is not bashing BW, I don't think his preference should dictate whether he is being vindictive or not.

    I'm liking your blog! :D

  5. It's nice to see that you're not drinking the kool-aid anymore Nicole.

  6. Cocodiva, I absolutely agree with you. Even if black men NEVER dated non-black women, they always use that as a weapon to make black women scare. You know something, I'm going to quit the so-called black community altogether because they are ALL damaged beyond repair. the only black music that I'm going to listen to is black music from the old school.

  7. Thank you, VoiceOfReason, I will not drink the KoolAide anymore.

  8. I didn't see the Andrew post, but I can guess what it said. I agree with Sean and Zabeth, that guy is deeply disturbed. When that book "Don't Bring A White Boy Home..." came out he was on book review sites, even, trying to make the author look like a BM hating fraud.

    He goes to interracial dating sites and tells White men that Black women don't cry real tears and other insane non-sense only a moron would buy into. But, of course, if there is a mammy type agreeing with him, or against whatever a WM who dates BW may say in our favor, he will kiss up to her.

    Those types are usually too stupid to realize that he's blowing smoke up their butts because they're dumb enough to agree with him, and silly enough to act and speak against their own best interests.

    Great post, Nichole!

  9. Loved the post. I noticed MOST black women who date interracial do it & do it with diplomacy toward black men. Not black men though, they want to shout from the mountain tops about how lowly & undesirable the black woman is. I may have mentioned to my man, who is NOT black, that I don't have a preference for black men, but I've left it at that. I mean no one in their right mind goes off on an emotional rant about a group of people who has nothing to do with them. IE: Racist & Intra-racist.

    Personally some of the things I read on the internet, see & hear from black men takes me aback. Sometimes I am truly convinced most of them are damaged goods for one reason or another. I pray that I am wrong. I am still young & have a lot of the world to see. But reading these BWE blogs makes me think I am right.

    Anyways, GREAT post. I'm subscribing.

  10. It is in a lot of people interest to run down black women and put them in bondage, because they will still be there, you can feed off them, they will support your communities, hair shops etc.
    In the world there are two truths, the World's truth and God's truth. The devil is a liar, lies are there to crush your self esteem and make you quick and prone to attacks.

    What would happen if every black women stood in front of the mirror for the next 30 daya and thanked God for making them beautiful, their skin, eyes, lips, hair, breasts, bottom, body is beautiful. They are fearfully and wonderfully made. They will start caring for themselves more, eat better, exercise, think ways to improve themselves.

    They kept saying that over and over every morning. Their whole self esteem would change, their eyes would be open and they would no longer be with people who want to put them down. There may be a massive move out of single black women to different areas, communities who live on them will be left. All races of men will start to look at them as them out on datesm they will get married, have children.

    The naysayes and trashy people will be left. Black women are a lot of people's financial and emotional source, they have to hang on to them at all costs. Hence the black women bashing.

  11. Great post i agree with evrything in this post too cuz my-self have been seeing bm's doing these nasty things to bw,just too keep their hold on to!!! how sad that these little boy's dont want to work or take care of their family's.but bw to do all the hard work,while they just wanna live a easy free life,dont think so,let these looser's go and start doing whats right for your self.and that chick that said all tha mess about bw is a lil girl who's weak and lost so i dont pay ppl like her any mind. but great post... and ValeriesWorld you are sooo right on point....

  12. It's funny how now when you go to her site she changed that comment about having black in her but on this video on youtube they actually have the original post.
    These tricks are really starting to believe the bs that bm tell them about us and actually think we are hating on them. Chile please....

  13. Like I said before, Bellydancer. it's not her fault as on why she did that. Black men had pumped her damn head up to make it seem like she's above black women. BLACK MEN are to blame for the way a lot of non-black women act towards black women. I've met VERY VERY few BM/non-BW couples that don't act like this. Trust me. Unfortunately, there's a WHOOOLE lot of them that do. The black man is the denominator of all of this shit. He will have the non-black women he's dating/marrying hating her. To me, that's poison.

  14. I do find black men who date interracially and bash black women to be lower than dirt. The women who date men who harbor race based misogyny are trash too!

  15. If you guys are generally interested in protecting the image of black women especially our young. Sign this petition to ban the 2011 superbowl commercial that's stereotyping black women once again.

  16. "Like I said before, Bellydancer. it's not her fault as on why she did that. Black men had pumped her damn head up to make it seem like she's above black women. BLACK MEN are to blame for the way a lot of non-black women act towards black women. I've met VERY VERY few BM/non-BW couples that don't act like this. Trust me. Unfortunately, there's a WHOOOLE lot of them that do. The black man is the denominator of all of this shit. He will have the non-black women he's dating/marrying hating her. To me, that's poison."

    Right. And then, when they have a daughter, the White mother treats her like shyte. I have known nearly a dozen bi-racial women who had a "racist bitch" of a mother. Their words, not mine. No man worth the air he breathed would have a child with such a woman.
    FYI, all of their fathers were worthless too, just not abusive.

    "I do find black men who date interracially and bash black women to be lower than dirt. The women who date men who harbor race based misogyny are trash too!"

    I agree. A decent woman would not want such a man, so these women were damaged/flawed themselves to begin with. Birds of a feather flock together. I have also noticed that many WW who date BM want to be noticed doing so by BW. And if it's obvious you don't care, they seem angry about it. They have a "Why am I bothering with this kneenegro if I can't piss off a BW!" attitude. That, to me, is just PATHETIC.

    It's probably why BM who make a point of telling everyone they don't want BW get so pissed off about BW and WM/HM/AM. They know racist WW only want them as a "I got yo man" type of thing against BW. Whereas when WM and BW get together it's because they genuinely want to be together, not some pathetic oneupmanship. At least that's my experience of interracial dating.

    I, personally, would not want my (White) boyfriend if he badmouthed WW. It would scream "head case" and "misogynist". I have no need for either. Only a fellow head case and misogynist (women can be misogynists too) would.

  17. I found this post very interesting b/c so what a non-black woman thinks she's better that you or feels superior to you-who cares? If she can elevate herself, then so can you. My sister, do you know the power you possess as a women-let's leave colour out of the picture for moment. We are the most powerful beings on earth and I really don't have time to worry if Betty and them think they're better. What they think about themselves has nothing to do with me or my life. If I started worrying about ppl that hate black ppl, I would never leave my house. It's not your job, my beautiful sister to fight injustice, fix you and let everything else take care of itself.
    I don't know you but am extending love to all my beautiful sisters esp. Zabeth-I've learned a lot from you.

  18. Udara, with all do respect, I'm not worrying about why non-black women don't like me because I could care less, but I do worry about the black men that they're dating turning them against me. Of course I'm not going to let that stop me from living, but somebody has to tell the truth in how black men are, and how they turn non-black women against black women.

  19. Yes, those black men do want everybody to hate black women. Yes, they do want to see black women destroyed, hurt, or lonely. Why, who knows? I feel it's the only way for them to feel a little power or feel a sense of self-worth. These same men usually have that "white men are the devil" complex. A guy awhile back on yahoo answers said something that made so much sense; he said it's only interracial couples involving black men that can't go without any racial implications, meaning they hate black women, white men, etc...I think something is seriously wrong with a lot of black men. A major inferiority complex wouldn't even begin to cover it. These men don't just hate black women, they hate themselves, they hate society, they hate white PEOPLE-not just white men. And you know, with all of that hate and anger in their hearts/mind, they CANNOT love. It's impossible. An older black guy said, these men don't love white women or black women. They just hate being black. You know, I have heard black men say some things that are just beyond comprehension. I watched a video just yesterday where this black guy said, he wished the kkk would come back and be in charge to stop "niggas and spics" from commiting so much crime. Their self-hatred is out of control, but the scary part is, these men are having children-same race or otherwise, and I hate to see what condition little black and biracial children will be in in 20 years.

    & What I don't understand, regardless if it's bm or black women or any other interracial couple, if your spouse *hates* the opposite gender of your race, don't think for a minute they wouldn't "turn" on you and they don't have some sort of superiority complex over you as well.

    Well said, Udara :)

  20. Great blog post and co-signing.
    Ladies let me add this- I am a straight woman living in San Francisco as you know it's the gayest city in American.

    Frankly, a great percentage of those BM who hate BW are... closeted homosexuals. Their misogyny is beyond 'normal' not only do openly hate BW they don't want anybody to have us.

    They lust over WM thus the constant focus on them not being with us!

    They are bitter bitchy closeted homosexuals aka queens masquerading as misogynists.

    Don't be fooled. Those guys are hiding in plain site using WW as beards. Perfect example is Ice T, Dennis Rodman, Lil Wayne...

    Just adding another point of reference in this dysfunctional game!

    I have called out several hiding-in-plain-site-BM over the years. They tried to heckle me as I was swirling. But my Gaydar is strong I know a bitter closet case when I see one. What do I whisper to them? "There are enough WM for you to have one, too!"