Wednesday, December 29, 2010

RIP Teena Marie (March 5, 1956-December 26, 2010)

On Sunday, December 26, 2010, we've lost the most beloved, influential, powerful blue eyed soul singers in history. Her name is TEENA MARIE. That exact night when my friend called my house to tell me that Teena Marie passed away, I went beserk. I was crying hard on the phone like a baby. She was found dead in her home by her daughter. The reason why I didn't post this is because I was mourning her death for a couple of days. It seems like the people that I grew up on as a child in the 80s are gone WAY too soon. People like Patrick Swayze, Corey Haim, Michael Jackson, Luther Vandross, Rick James, Teddy Pendergrass, Eazy E, Guru of Gang Starr, Jam Master Jay of Run DMC, Gerald and Sean Levert of Levert and now Teena Marie. They died under 60 years old. They represented the Generation x culture for Gen Xers like myself. I miss Lady T SO SO SO much. I'm still crying at this moment. I made a dedication video to her on YouTube. Here's the link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0gx9s9hh_U

If you were born in the 1970s and earlier, you know who Teena Marie is. You remember songs like "I'm a Sucker For Your Love", "Deja Vu", "Behind The Groove", "Aladdin's Lamp", "I Need Your Lovin", "Young Love", "You Make Love Like Springtime", "Tune In Tomorrow", "It Must Be Magic", "Square Biz", "Portuguese Love", "Yes Indeed", "Casanova Brown", "Dear Lover", "Lovergirl", "Out On A Limb", "We've Got To Stop Meeting Like This", "Shangri-La", "Sunny Skies", "Oo La La La", "Work it", "Here's Looking At You", "If I Were A Bell", "Cupid Is A Real Straight Shooter", "I'm Still In Love", "A Rose By Any Other Name", "Ooh Wee", "Can't Last A Day". These are the songs that I remember throughout my lifetime. And let's not the forget the powerful songs duet with the late Rick James "Happy", "Once And Future Dream", and the ultimate ballad that stood with time, "FIRE AND DESIRE"!!!!! Lady T will always be in my heart. I'm very emotional right now. She represented my childhood just like Michael Jackson. I feel sorry for her 19-year-old daughter, Alia Rose, who tried to wake her mother up, and now she have to live with that pain for the rest of her life. Please pray that she be strong and cope with this tragic death of her beloved mother. I'm still in shock of the passing of Aaliyah and Michael Jackson, and now Teena Marie REALLY REALLY add fuel to the fire.

I hope that you keep Teena Marie's family in prayer. I offer my condolences to them
May you rest in peace, Teena Marie aka Lady T aka Ivory Queen aka Vanilla Child aka White Chocolate. You will always be in my heart forever. You will be sorely missed.
Your legacy will live on. Now you and Rick James can live together forever in paradise.

RIP Teena Marie
March 5, 1956-December 26, 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

Why Are Black People Trying So Hard To Convince Black Women That They Are The Least Desirable To Non-Black Men?

Yesterday, I was on YouTube as usual, and I was watching and listening to UHeardMe1stTime's videos. She used to be GottoBeKiddinMe 2 years ago. Ok, so anyway, she's a black atheist, and she is recently married to an Asian man. She's the type that likes to use statistics on everything that pertained to blacks. There's some things that I agree with her on, and there's some things she said that I don't agree with. I notice that everytime she talks about interracial dating/marriage, she always want to use the statistics to prove that black women are not wanted by other races of men while at the same time say that black men are the most wanted. It's like she throws black women under the bus. She says that most non-black men don't want black women statistically. I don't believe in statistics because every statistic has a hidden agenda. Anyway, when she talks about interracial dating/marriage among black women, she always throws in "most non-black men don't want black women" or "most black women want black men" or "non-black men prefer women of their own race" or "non-black men just want to fuck you, but not marry you" and she uplifts interracial dating/marriage among black men. She NEVER said this to black men who date/marry interracially. She said that it's not hard for black men to get with non-black women because he's a man. She's just as bad as black men who said that. Everything she talks about black women are always negative. She said that black women don't feel as comfortable around white people as black men do, and black women don't want to get involve in things that's not black-oriented, and that's bullshit because I grew up in a multicultural neighborhood, and I went to a multicultural school, and I listen to other musical genres besides R&B and Hip-Hop. She likes to generalize black women in everything, and I feel offended about it. Then she made a video saying that black women are too emotional to be good debaters, and she said that just because black women show pictures of BW/non-BM relationships doesn't mean that non-black men want them, and she believes that it's all in the numbers, not the pictures. WTF????? I think that she has a hidden agenda when it comes to black women. It seems to me that she and other black people like her want to keep black women from escaping from the black community by telling them that they are undesirable, unwanted, and the least picked of all women. It's the subliminal message behind her videos that I picked up. I just want to ask some questions. WHY ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO CONVINCE BLACK WOMEN THAT THEY ARE UNDESIRABLE TO NON-BLACK MEN? WHY ARE PEOPLE KEEP TELLING BLACK WOMEN THAT THEY ARE NOT WANTED? WHY ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO CONVINCE THE WHOLE WORLD THAT BLACK WOMEN DON'T WANT NON-BLACK MEN? I'm telling you, something's fishy is going on here. And I noticed that it's mainly BLACK PEOPLE that's telling black women this. The truth of the matter is that black people do not want to let black women go, so they will tell black women these things to conjole her to submission. This was what racist white people used to do with slaves. It's like they are trying to control black women by telling her "nobody wants you, non-black men don't want you, even black men don't want you, you're ugly, fat, nappy-headed, tar-baby, mean, have a bad attitude, masculine, so you might as well stay in your place because you will never be as loved, worthy, and desirable as non-black women, so be a good mammy and stay put". This is the message that I'm getting from these videos concerning black women. Why are people so hellbent to control black women and lower their self-esteem? I notice that ever since Michelle Obama became the first lady, and ever since black women starting to date and marry interracially more, there are videos on YouTube popping up about telling black women that they are not wanted, love and desirable like non-black women. It's like they don't view black women as human beings. Black women have the right to date and marry as they choose. Black women have the right to do as they choose, and they don't need a say so in doing it. WE ARE NOT ANIMALS!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Children and Their View Of Beauty

The reason why I'm writing this post in because my heart goes out to the children and how they were taught as far as beauty standards. Children are very visual and they are going to learn by what they see. Their view of beauty was taught to them by the media and their family as well. We live in a society where the European standard of beauty is the norm and if any woman doesn't fit this beauty standard, she is considered unattractive. The closer you are to this beauty standard, the more the woman will be perceived as attractive. How unfortunate. I believe that this beauty standard is racist because I believe that all women's ethnic beauty should be celebrated, and not just European beauty. The Euro beauty standard is blonde hair, straight hair, light-colored eyes, fair skin, small nose, and thin lips. Since black women are the furthest away from the European beauty standard, they are viewed as ugly to the masses which I think that it's bullshit. The European beauty standard is reinforced all over the media and children learn by what they see. If a child watches TV and all he or she sees are women with fair skin, straight hair, small nose, thin lips, they will automatically think that it's attractive. The more repetitious the media shows this image, the more it will get in a child's brain and he/she will believe that only those type of women are beautiful. If they see a woman that doesn't have fair skin, small nose, thin lips, and straight hair, she will be called ugly, and that's what happened to me at my job working with children. I understand that people are entitled to their opinion, and I respect that, but when they constantly call me ugly even though I'm not, I'm starting to think that it's because I have dark brown skin, Afro-textured hair, and African facial features (wide nose, full lips). They will never call a fat and ugly light-skinned black/Latina woman ugly simply because they think that light skin equates beauty no matter how she look. A light-skinned black woman and a non-black woman can be fat and ugly to the core, but because they have fair skin and/or straight hair, their "flaws" are overlooked whereas it won't be the same with brown/dark skinned black woman simply because she's brown/dark. If a woman has one or two Euro features, then her "flaws" are overlooked and she will still be considered attractive, but if she has NO Euro features, then she's considered ugly as hell. They will cut a fat and ugly non-black woman some slack before they will cut a fat and ugly black woman some slack because in this racist country, African beauty is not beautiful unless it's watered down. I work in a Latino community, and they practice colorism the same way that African-Americans do. They also celebrate light-bright-white as well. I notice that when I wear my hair in its natural state, black and Latino children will call me ugly, but I bet you that if I bleach my skin and wear my hair straight or wear a straight weave, then their opinions change. It's not the children's fault, and I'm trying not to take what they say personally because they are only children, but it breaks my heart that black and Latino kids will view dark skinned, Afro-textured haired, wide-nosed, full-lipped black women as ugly, repulsive, and hideous. Children's brains are like sponge, and they will soak up everything that the media feeds them. And they also learn the racist beauty standards from their families and their friends who got it from their families. When a Latino parent call black people racist names, then children will view black people in a negative way. When a black parent uplifts light-skinned, straight-haired, thin-lipped, small-nosed black women and downgrades dark-skinned, Afro-textured, wide-nosed, full-lipped black women, then the black child will view every dark skinned, Afro-textured, wide-nosed, full-lipped black women as ugly. I don't care what nobody says but nobody was born to think like this. They have to be taught this way of thinking. It doesn't happen overnight. We have to teach children that women of all ethinicities have their own unique beauty, and that they are beautiful in their own unique way.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I'M BACK...with a lot to say!

Hello, everyone. This is Nicole Little once again. I'm sorry that I haven't been posting any new posts lately. I haven't been blogging for 3 months because back in August, my laptop that I had for 10 months was destroyed by viruses and overheating, and I made a big mistake going to a fake computer repair shop to get it fixed. It was the type of computer shop where the technician will come to your house and fix your computer. So, this guy went to my house to check on my laptop. He seemed pretty young, and my instincts were telling me that something's not right about this guy, but I didn't pay any attention until it was too late. The guy told me that it had something to do with the hard drive, and he told me that he had to take the computer to a "special environment" to put the hard drive in, and since it was my first time getting my computer fixed, I trusted him. Oh why did I do that??? So he told me that it costed $100 to get a new hard drive, $70 for a general repair, and $30 for him to travel to my house. So, like an idiot, I gave him $200 and my laptop so he could take it with him to fix my laptop, and he didn't even give me the receipt. A week later, he said that he had the new hard drive for the laptop, and he put it in the laptop, and he said that it still didn't work. Right then and there, I knew that he was lying because if it was only the hard drive issue, that laptop would be fixed in a minute, so he offered me a compensation by giving me a new refurbished computer to replace my laptop which he NEVER gave me, so that's when I realized that I've been scammed. I called the Better Business Bureau (which I should've done before I called that counterfeit repair shop) to check and see if this place was legit. I found out that the address of that fake shop was wrong and the name of the company was wrong, and it had very poor ratings, and it had a WHOLE lot of complaints. I finally realize that he's a crook and a thief, and he took my $200 and my broken computer, and he probably took it home, fixed it, and sold it to someone else for a cheaper price. That was the biggest and dumbest mistake that I have EVER done. So now, I'm very careful and cautious. Now that I have a brand-new HP desktop (I'm through with buying and using laptops because as much as I like to use the computer, a laptop will not last long for me unless it's an Apple laptop), I'm ready to start blogging again, so be on the look out for my new posts!

Also, I wanted to take a break away from using the internet because I am a hardcore laser face, and I will call out my job so I can use the computer. Maybe this is God telling that I have to get myself together and focus on life OUTSIDE the computer, and that's what I did.

September 1, 2010 was when I went back to work since I work for the school board, and I had to go to all these professional developments. I worked at a which is from kindergarten to 4th grade (why it's like that, I don't know). The neighborhood where the school is located, well, uh, let's just say that it's not a very privileged neighborhood, and the children's behavior show it. I try not to be so hard on the children because it's not their fault that they are the way they are. They are only children, and they are going to learn from what we as adults do. The reason why children don't respect adults is because we as adults are not doing our job representing for the children. Instead of acting like adults like we are suppose to and setting an example for children, we're trying to BE like children, and that's not of God. You can be youthful WITHOUT acting immature. The Bible says that when I was a child, I spake as a child, I reason as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man (or woman), I PUT AWAY CHILDISH THINGS! If you want children to respect you as an adult, YOU have to start ACTING like an adult, and set an example for them and discipline them. If you don't, then don't expect the children to respect you.


Well, that's all I have to say in this post. I just want to tell you what I've done for 3 months since I've been away from the computer.

I'M BACK BABY!!!!!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Black Women, Broaden Your Horizons, Expand Your Options

I was thinking about this all month since I posted. I think that we as black women are too narrow-minded when it comes to people, places, and things. All we think about is what pertains to anything that's predominately black to the point where we miss out on opportunities that may not be based on black culture. I believe that expanding your options is more healthier than being limited to just one thing. Expanding your options makes life fun and exciting. It helps you learn more about the world around you instead of what pertains to just black people. Black men have no problem expanding their options when it comes to the type of woman they like, what type of music they like, what type of places they go to, or what have you. Black women, on the other hand, are taught to embrace everything that's predominately black. We weren't taught to expand our options when it comes to men, music, places, events, etc. We were taught to date and marry black men ONLY, listen to black music ONLY, go to black events ONLY, and go to black churches ONLY, etc. It's like if a black woman steps out of the black culture and experiences things that's not pertain to the so-called black community, then she's a sellout while at the same time, a black man can get away with experimenting outside the so-called black community and not be called a sell-out. I'm going to give you an example of what I'm talking about:

As for me, I'm a music person as you can see by the other blog that I've created that's based totally on musical artists of all genres. Almost ten years ago, I was working at a factory in Upper Darby, and during lunchtime, I was listening to Sinead O'Connor's first album, The Lion and The Cobra, and a black guy was asking me what was I listening to, and I showed him some CDs to prove that I'm versatile. This guy had the nerve to say, "You're a black woman, you're not suppose to listen to white boy music". I got very offended about what he said. This was not the first time this happened. Last year, I went to the Sound Of Market in Philly, and I went to the pop/rock/easy listening/show tunes/vocal section upstairs so I can get a Barbra Streisand two-disc greatest hits CD. One black guy told me, "What are you doing here in a white section? What, you don't like black music? What, you don't like being black? Do you know any black artists that you can buy?" I just want to slap him in the face for saying that. Doesn't he even understand the history of music in America? Doesn't he know that black people started EVERY genre of music in this country? He didn't even know me. I'm a versatile person when it comes to music, and I'm just being me, an individual. This is what I have to go through.

A black woman who is an individual is a THREAT! They expect a black woman to limit herself to either negative stereotypes (Mammy, Jezebel, Sapphire) or anything and anyone that's predominately black. Black women who are individuals, don't pay any attention to those who are negative. Be who God created you to be, and keep on keeping on. If you want to expand your options in different races of men, then you have that right and don't let no one tell you that you don't have any rights simply because you're black and female. If you want to expand your options in your music collection, then go ahead. If you want to expand your options in your surroundings, then you can do it. The so-called black community doesn't have our best interests as black women anyway, and they HATE black women who are individuals. I guess they expect black women to be followers, supporters, mammies, sex slaves, and mules for a community that doesn't exist. There's so much more OUTSIDE the so-called black community that you can experience. You can go to an art museum that's in a diverse area. You can go to an opera concert. You can travel to places that you've never been to, you know, getting out of your comfort zone. You can take different languages to expand your bilingual skills. Trying something new is healthy. Getting out of your comfort zone is healthy. It's only when you limit yourself to one person, place, or thing that will make you miserable in life. Black women, expand your options in EVERYTHING!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Introduction

Hi, this is Nicole Little, and this blog is design for black women to learn how to love yourself for who God created you to be and not trying to change for somebody else in order for that individual to feel comfortable. This is design to build up our self esteem. You see, we live in a society that's telling us that we are unworthy, undesirable, unattractive, unloved, and worthy of abuse simply because we are black women. We were taught to hate our skin, our hair, our facial features, and our body type. We have been told that if a black woman doesn't fit the European standards of beauty, then we're seen as unattractive, and that's not true. I'm here to expel the lies that's been told by us ever since we were little girls. God did not make a mistake when he created you. You are fearfully and wonderfull made and don't ever let someone tell you any different. There's nothing wrong with you, black women.

There's so much in store for us, and it's up to us to get it if we are willing. Don't settle for less. There's nothing wrong with having standards for people, places, and things. If you want that dream job, then it's yours. If you want a good, well-established man of any race, then it's yours. If you want to have a nice house in a nice neighborhood, then it's yours. If you want to travel all around the world, then it's yours. Don't just talk about it, but be about it.


As black women, we can't rely on mainstream media, society, and sadly, the black community to make us feel beautiful, wonderful, and special. We have to do it for ourselves, and to find another medium of any kind that's going to uplift us and bulid us up. Self-love starts with US! If you don't love yourself, then how are you going to love somebody else? It's time to get rid of anything that's going to cause harm in our lives whether if it friends, family members, music, movies, videos, neighborhoods, or anything that's going to damage a black woman's self worth and self-esteem. Bad company corrupts good manners We can't afford to give in to negativity. Our lives are too precious for it.


In conclusion, black women, you are beautiful, and you are worth loving and caring for, and don't ever let anybody take that away from you.